Encounter Number Three

It was the beginning of April 2000 and the two of us were still talking on a regular basis. It had been a little while since Jackie had broken up with her boyfriend, and by this time he had all been forgotten. There was no longer mention of him or anything from the past. Neither was there any mention of anything that had ever gone on between Jackie and myself.

Jackie’s high school housed only freshmen and sophomore because it had just been recently opened that school year. Instead of a big prom that usually hosted juniors and seniors, her school opted to host a smaller “Freshmen-Sophomore Prom” that first year. Everyone who was anyone was going, of course, following high school social protocol.

Jackie and her friends decided to all go, but since the advent of Jackie’s recent break-up, she found herself dateless (apparently). So what did she do? She asked me to go with her.

It was during a typical conversation when she had brought it up. She had told me that it was her spring formal. I did not figure it to be such a big deal. I thought she needed a date and I was all she could think of, especially since I felt like I was the only one who talked to her other than her really close friends.

I obliged her request, and just like for her birthday party, I told Adrienne that I was going. Adrienne was okay with it, just like she always was. By this point, Adrienne knew that I had liked Jackie. She knew it was hard for me. She also knew that I still liked her, as well as Jackie. I really thank her for all of her understanding with me. She sent me her best wishes and told me to have fun.

During one of our conversations, Jackie and I spoke about how it was going to work, especially since I did not attend her school. I would have to go over to her house to give her my money for the ticket to the dance, and she and her friends would take care of everything else. All I had to do after that was to show up at her door on the day of the prom.

Not having had been employed at the time, I had to ask my parents for the money. It was not much, just $35 or so. My parents could not tell me no, especially since my older brother had gone to many more expensive high school dances than I had, and my ticket was relatively cheap. I did not have to rent any clothing—tuxedos or suits—and all I needed was for one of them to take me to where I needed to be.

My kind mother provided the money and also provided my transportation to Jackie’s house. To their knowledge, Jackie was probably the closest thing to a girlfriend to me, although I never spoke about any of it in front of them or in front of anybody, actually.

The small trip across town was quick. By side streets, it took about twenty minutes—by freeway would have been longer. It was a Saturday around noon when I arrived at Jackie’s home. I knocked at her door (I rarely ring doorbells so as not to disturb entire households); then someone answered the door. It may have been Jackie’s older sister that did so or it may have been Jackie herself—my memories remain blurred. Whoever it was that answered the door, it did not matter.

I saw Jackie for the third time in my life. We both said hello to each other, I gave her the money, and then we said our goodbyes. It was that quick. I left her front door and walked back to the van. Then, my mom drove home. I do not remember feeling any different after having seen her again. I was not breathing any heavier nor was my heart beating any faster. It was as if I had just visited a normal friend and dropped off a video game or something of that sort. I cannot remember anything else about that day. The memories that I can never forget, however, are those that cover what happened thereafter.

The rest of my story is what I remember the most…

Waiting

So we talked. What did we talk about? We talked about the things teenagers talked about—stuff. What I remember talking most about with Jackie, though, was her boyfriend.

We were both unavailable then, so it was easier to talk about that type of thing. It was a little more comfortable speaking with each other also since we knew that there could not possibly be anything between us. As for me, I felt a little safer knowing that she had a boyfriend and I could not do anything about it. It meant that I could stop thinking about how I liked her, because no matter what she had someone else already.

It was March of 2000 when we started talking more on the phone. What interested me most about our conversations was that they were mostly about how bad of a boyfriend she had. There was something inside of me that hoped she would end it with him so that maybe I would have a chance again. That was such a stupid thought, however, because I was still with Adrienne. How could I possibly have thought that way? But, the fact of the matter was that I did think that way.

I listened to her every word when she spoke over the telephone. I cherished every moment of it, and, like I always had up to that point, I wished those conversations would never end. (What a good boyfriend I was, huh?)

I just let her talk about anything she wanted, and most of the time it was about her significant other who seemed as if he was never there. I felt like I listened to her more than he ever did. Maybe that was true—only she can say. Like usual, though, our conversations never lasted for long. She would have to go for some reason and I would have to call her back some other time, even though she told me that she would call me back immediately.

Every time I heard her voice talking about how bad of a boyfriend she had, I kept wishing and wishing that they would split. I waited. I knew it was inevitable. From how she spoke, I felt that they would not last. She seemed frustrated. I knew she deserved better than him.

Towards the end of the month, I felt the moment coming ever closer. She was growing more upset by his actions, or more accurately, his in-action. Then, one day, during one of our typical conversations, she told me: they had broken up.

It was about time, I thought.

Then, just as fast as they had broken up, my feelings for her returned. Of course, they had been there all along, rooting for the demise of her supposedly bad relationship. Unlike after her birthday party, however, I controlled myself more. I did not have an immediate urge to break it off with my own girlfriend. That would have been hasty and stupid. And, although I was socially stupid back then, I used a little restraint and let her have her space for a while.

I still talked to her over the phone on a regular basis, still listening with my undivided attention. But, since her break-up, I felt like I wanted to know her even more—be even closer to her. I kept my cool and did not change my demeanor when we spoke, but deep down inside, I was jumping with joy knowing that we were still cool with each other even though she was single again and that maybe I again had a chance.

Unexpected

My friend Christian and I were walking around the mall one day, some time late February or early March of 2000. It was a one-storey outlet mall, and we were somewhere one the south side when all of a sudden Christian spotted someone looking in our direction.

The reason Christian and I were there was because he was going to meet up with an old classmate. He had gone to another school our freshmen year of high school and had made little to no friends there. Once he moved back to our city, he met this girl online that had gone to his school and apparently was in his class. They had not spoken in person before that, but knew who each other were. That day at the mall, they were just going to say hello, and like a friend, I came along. Later, they would call each other their “destined friend,” or something to that effect, because even though they had class together before, it was not until they met online that they actually started to become friends.

Before it was time for them to meet, however, we made our way around the mall, just to walk and kill time. I remember that I was wearing the same cargo jeans that I had on at Jackie’s party. Those were my favorite pair of jeans until they were stolen from my P.E. locker—I had to find another favorite pair of jeans after that.

Coincidentally, Jackie, Charmane, and Jackie’s little cousin were also walking around the mall in the opposite direction. I was speaking to Christian when he spotted the two girls looking in my direction as if they knew me. For some reason, I turned to look at them, as if something inside me had told me to turn around as we passed each other. At the same moment, Christian pointed out what he saw, and with a slight glance, I confirmed what he had witnessed.

In fact, they had stopped walking twenty feet behind us and had their bodies pointed directly towards me, waiting for me to acknowledge their presence. And, just as I always do with something that takes me a few seconds to recognize, I gave them a squinted look with a slight tilt of the head and a quizzical thought. Then, after I had recognized Jackie and Charmane, I un-squinted my eyes and began walking in their direction.

We met half way and immediately greeted each other, still with a somewhat surprised look on my face. I then introduced my friend Christian to them and began chatting with Jackie.

It had been a while since we last spoke. It was probably when I heard that she had a boyfriend that I last conversed with her. Looking back now, I believe it was through the internet that I found out, because I am sure that she did not tell me with her own voice.

My friend Christian stood aside while we spoke, while Charmane and Jackie’s cousin walked towards one of the stores to give us privacy. We did not speak for long, just like whenever we spoke on the phone. I had nothing to say, so I ended the conversation quickly, although I did not want to end the moment. I saw that my friend was starting to feel a little awkward, so we said our goodbyes and left each other to whatever we had been doing beforehand.

I was not totally surprised to see Jackie at the mall, though. After all, she did work there at the time. In fact, she worked at the AMC movie theater connected to the mall, just outside of Gameworks. Her sister had worked there and she apparently followed. I had known that and actually expected to see her around the mall that day, though not fully aware of it.

A few minutes later, Christian and I made our way to Gameworks to meet his friend Regina. She was accompanied by her older brother, who I knew was Pilipino, but looked as if he was Latino; he had a shaved head and was wearing a baseball jersey. I was somewhat intimidated by him when I first saw him standing with Regina. I found out later that he was actually intimidated by me sitting there at the high table. (I had a way of dressing in high school that made me look as if I was part of some Asian “mafia” gang. In reality, I was far from being in one. I was the exact opposite with a top-ten ranking and honors.)

Feeling somewhat guilty for having cut all communications with Jackie after her birthday party, I started calling her again. We also started talking online again. For one reason or another, it felt as if I could not just forget about her so easily. There seemed to be something that just would not let us let each other go.